Wednesday, February 01, 2006

THIS JUST IN: sucking on an orange-flavoured tootsie pop will NOT prevent scurvy...

Today is a day of randomly random randomness.

People at work are freaking out all over the place because it's budget time, and they're not ready. I love how they always end up in this situation- it's like they're shocked by the fact that they have to have a budget done, even though it is due at the same time every year, and it is more or less the same process... it causes me to shake my head and smile at them. Which they do not like. Which makes me chuckle. Which they REALLY do not like. Which makes me laugh. Which they REALLY REALLY do not like... hmmmm... it has just occurred to me that I may be looking for a new job soon... Anyone have any suggestions??

But I digress. In honour of this randomly random day, I have decided to abscond with a page from Grum's book and post one of my favourite funny sketches. It is Monty Python. It is absolutely hilarious. No... seriously- the imagery brings tears to my eyes everytime. Here it is:

Old Lady Snoopers
As featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 33)

The cast:
ENID - Eric Idle
GLADYS - John Cleese

The sketch:
(Sketch continues from the Lifeboat Sketch. We still hear the shouts. Close up on an elderly spinster (Gladys) holding the net curtain discreetly ajar.)

Enid: (ERIC) Who's that shouting?

(We pull out to reveal a sitting room full of high-powered eavesdropping equipment, i.e. an enormous telescope on wheels with a controller's chair attached to it, several subsidiary telescopes pointing out of the window, radar scanners going round and round, two computers with flashing lights, large and complex tape and video recorders, several TV monitors, oscilloscopes, aerials, etc. All these have been squeezed in amongst the furniture of two retired middle-class old ladies. Enid, a dear old lady with a bun, sits at the control seat of an impressive-looking console, pressing buttons. She also has some knitting.)

Gladys: (JOHN) It's a man outside Number 24.

Enid: Try it on the five inch, Gladys.

Gladys: (looking at the array of telescopes) I can't. I've got that fixed on the Baileys at Number 13. Their new lodger moves in today.

Enid: All fight, hold 13 on the five-inch and transfer the Cartwrights to the digital scanner.

(Gladys leaps over to the tape recorder presses levers and switches. Sound of tape reversing. There is a hum and lights flash on and off. A blurred image of a lady in the street comes up on one of the monitors.)

Enid: Hold on, Mrs Pettigrew's coming back from the doctor's.

Gladys: All right, bring her up on two. What's the duration reading on the oscillator?

Enid: 48.47.

Gladys: Well that's a long time for someone who's just had a routine checkup.

Enid: (reading a graph on a computer) Yes, her pulse rate's 146!

Gladys: Zoom in on the 16mm and hold her, Enid.

Enid: Roger, Gladys.

Gladys: I'll try and get her on the twelve-inch.

(she climbs into the control seat of the huge mobile telescope; we cut to the view through Gladys's telescope - out of focus at first, but then sharper as she zooms in towards the side door of Number 24)

Enid: Move the curtain,

Enid: (the curtain is opened a little) Thank you, love.

(Cut to the interior of Mrs Neves's kitchen once again. It is absolutely full of lifeboatmen. They are all talking happily and drinking cups of tea. We pick up the conversation between two them.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! * wipes tears from eyes * Can't you just see it??? It's brilliant. BRILLIANT! Anyway, for more of these incredible, gut-splittingly funny sketches, see the Monty Python link on my side-bar.

And now for something completely different.


At 8:23 AM, Blogger Thérèse said...

Yes. Let's both quit our jobs and join the circus. I call elephant rider.

Or we can always start a hippy commune.

At 8:23 AM, Blogger Thérèse said...

By the way I love that you don't have "comment verifcation" on. Comment verification slows down them multi-commenting that is so my trademark.

At 8:28 AM, Blogger jenn said...

Yes... I despise comment verification, myself.

hippy communes never work. I know. I've studied them in great detail.

"Goodbye cruel world, I'm off to join the circus! Tell Mr. Barnum to save a place for me!"

Do you know that song?

You can have the stinky elephants. I call tight-rope walker.

At 11:31 AM, Blogger Thérèse said...

Why don't hippy communes work?


I get to double as the girl who gets sawed in half too, 'kay? Just cause... I'll already have the outfit.

At 11:43 AM, Blogger jenn said...

okok!!! But only if I get to be shot out of a cannon!!!

Hippy communes never work because they are reactionary: Instead of actually addressing the problems in society, they seek to acoid them. Thus, after a year or two (if that long) the problems (read: the Government) conspire to kill the commune, which is seen as a threat, regardless of its inherent ineffectiveness.

At 10:29 PM, Blogger Grumball said...

I love that one. I think they could have done more, but its great as is anyway!

At 4:23 AM, Blogger jenn said...


At 10:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was that a Mr. M line at the end?


At 11:08 AM, Blogger jenn said...

Hahahahaha- kind of. He swiped from the Monty Python boys... along with "Meanwhile, back at the Oasis..." I always knew he was a klepto.

Kidding! I'm kidding! ack! NO! not the sticks!!!!


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