Tuesday, February 21, 2006

the TEST.

You all know of what I speak. The BEST FRIEND TEST. It is the test that all new dating potentials must pass if they ever hope to get past 'go'. This is even more scary than the sibling/parental test. If you fail those tests, depending on the family, you may still have a fighting chance... afterall, we don't choose our family. But flunk the BEST FRIEND TEST, and you've just constructed serious obstacles in your relationship, if not killed it altogether.

I mean, we all know that NO ONE is ever going to be good enough for our best friends, but there are some that we can learn to live with...

I've recently been reminded of a highly amusing methodology that a very dear friend of mine used to employ (and perhaps still does) in administering the BEST FRIEND TEST. He would ask the new guy/gal one simple question:

Which, in your opinion, is the best Eagles song/album?

The correct answer being (of course) NONE! Double de-merit points if said guy/gal even admits to knowing the titles of the albums.

This, of course, was a question designed to be specific to that particular group of friends, and apparently indicated enough to them about the person being questioned to allow the group to make a sound judgement ;)

I'm curious to know if you all think this is an acceptable methodology, and if not, what would you suggest as an alternate means of administering the TEST? Do we go for the tried and true standbys of 20 questions or the quiet observation of every move made and syllable uttered? Or do we get more creative? Do tell. I'm dying to know.


At 6:59 AM, Blogger Thérèse said...

My TEST is kind of an ULTIMATE TEST. It takes about a year to simmer.

It is measured by these very important factors:

- How happy is she in the relationship? I can see that no matter what she says or doesn't say about him and it.
- How often, much, and in what way has he fucked up?
- How does he deal with me when he first meets me. (ie when I say "how do you feel about broccoli" does he roll with the punches or freak out?)

It's very high tech.

At 7:18 AM, Blogger jenn said...

hmmmmmmm... I like it. You make a very good point here- although the new guy/gal may make it through the initial impressions phase unscathed, the jury tends to stay out for a good long while... and each fuck up sets you back.

At 10:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jenn,

I wrote a poem for my friend, for her to know we were beside her when she was dating one of her boyfriends, I will edit it, and post it up here when I get home.

As for THE TEST, We all me well for our friends, but no one is ever good enough. We just want for them what we want for ourselves, someone that will stay with us for all the good, bad and whatever other BULL SHIT flies at us. I know I am personally hoping time is not closing in. :( Ottawa is big, and sometimes that seems to be the problem, where to go to meet people at 27, when the bar sceen is passé.

*sorry, that was a bit of a vent!* :(


At 2:16 PM, Blogger Grumball said...

That question would get me, even though I am not familiar with the Eagles. They did a cover of the Bond theme and I had it on a Bond mix that I made a few years ago. The Bond theme is good listening no matter who does it, unless they totally fail to create any atmosphere that befits Bond. Therefore to that question I'd answer "Their Bond theme cover!" Which would provoke immediate dismissal for even having an answer. Otherwise I know nothing about the Eagles... I don't even know what kind of music they play. If I had to guess I'd say 80s power rock. Which is all rubbish.

At 7:54 PM, Blogger jenn said...

Close- they're more mid- late 70's rock/country-ish stuff... such classics as 'Hotel California', and 'There's Gonna Be a Heartache Tonight'. (hey, I never said I would pass the test!)

But what I REALLY want to know is how you would administer the TEST, Grum. Spill!

At 11:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry Jenn, I was too tired to post the poem last night.

What if I told you, one of my favourite Eagles songs was HEART OF THE MATTER! & DESPERADO!

Okay, I confess, I bought HELLL FROZEN OVER by the Eagles when I was home over Christmas.

I love powerful tunage. Leave me alone y'all! HAHAHA


At 6:49 PM, Blogger Tobin Haley said...

Jenn I am not just sayning this cause I am drunk....but I love you man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 10:46 AM, Blogger Neil Cole said...

To the Eagles test: "I dunno know???"

My own test... I don't think I really have one. At least, I've never given thought about a friend test; however, failing grades for those that don't appreciate my deep love of playing drums. :D


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