TRAPPED!

Warning: This post was written while the author was in an extremely angst-ridden and pissy mood. Read on at your own risk.

Ok... so you know that feeling when you can't see your way out of a situation, and then every stressor in your life snowballs into an incredibly dense and heavy mass which proceeds to come crashing down squarely on your head? Yeah... I'm totally there. I am officially freaking out.

I hate my job- they pay me barely enough to keep food in my tummy, a roof over my head, and the bills up to date. I can't even afford to get a goddamned pet fish. And I really like fish. This in combination with the fact that I KNOW that what I do for this place is probably worth double my paycheck is incredibly frustrating. And I won't even start on my boss. I feel like I'm at my wits end.

So I'm looking for a new job. But there is nothing. NOTHING. Ok... that's not quite true, but the ratio of jobs I am qualified for and could do without the intervention of little purple pills to the ones that would rapidly drive me to drink is depressingly low. I've applied for a every single one I can find that fits, and am waiting to hear, but as of today I am not hopeful (this is an inevitable stage of the job hunt, right??) It seems that my wildly expensive Master's degree is provided nothing except the ability to navigate through Plato's dialogues, analyze the latest political news, and the general knowledge that the world has already gone to hell in a handbasket and that we're all merrily burning without realizing it. Great. Fabulous. If only that could pay off the loans for me.

It's the loans afterall... the stupid goddamned loans are killing me. I'm trapped. Completely trapped by these things. I can't go anywhere or do anything more than a weekly visit to a pub and a movie until the fucking things are paid off, and at this rate that will be sometime in my mid-forties. Oh god. That's the most depressing thought I've had in quite sometime.

I hate being poor. Hate it. And the thing that pisses me off the most?? I did this to myself. It was a fucking choice. And I made it. Eyes open. (well- at least half open... the other half was clouded by visions of grandeur: rewarding employment, contenment, etc... HA!).

Ok... enough of the self-pity. I'm off to continue the seemingly interminable search for what happened to my life. I hope you are all enjoying a better day than I.

And Therese, I totally heart you for writing the list for me :D

you don't have to go abroad to have your rights violated...

This past weekend saw a PEACEFUL demonstration for Solidarity Across Borders (ie- immigrant rights) turn ugly when the police showed up and arrested four protestors on charges of 'Failure to Disperse'. Bullshit. The demonstration took place on public property and the participants were doing nothing more than exercising their fundamental freedoms (as stated in the Canadian Charter of Rights, s.2(a,b,c,d)). Let me quote:

Fundamental Freedoms
2. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms
a) freedom of conscience and religion;
b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion, and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and
d) freedom of association

Tell me why it is that the police (and ostensibly the powers that be) are scared of a group of 20-30 people, a banner, and a megaphone??

Here's a picture of one of the protestors, Asaf, being arrested. Please note that he is not resisting, and that there is a knee jammed into his ribs.


For more information including first-hand accounts and discussion of these events, please see the following link:

http://leftnews.org/archives/2006/05/27/7941/

Makeup Party...

Ok... so I walked into the bathroom at the office this morning only to find three women in there doing their makeup. It felt like I was walking in on some kind of ritual, and I was suddenly transported back to high school- where the girls whose parents wouldn't allow them to wear makeup would clamber into the bathrooms upon arrival and carefully apply the forbidden goops and paints.

But wait... this is NOT high school... we're all adults and can wear whatever the hell we want. Don't you people have mirrors at home?

klutz

I am, quite possibly, the world's BIGGEST klutz. In one (that's right, one) twenty-four hour period, I managed to maim both hands, one foot, kill at least one kitchen utensil, spill various forms of liquid all over other people's apartments, and nearly impale myself with one of those cute little drink umbrellas. All of this before the consumption of girlie pink-drink liquor began.

That's right. So let me take you through it all, if you have the stomach for it, that is ;)

Maiming #1: involves the time honoured female ritual of shaving the legs. I somehow managed to remove half of the skin on the knuckle of my pinky finger AND a sizeable chunck from the MIDDLE of my nail. It didn't bleed too badly. No medical attention was sought.

Maiming #2: this also includes the murder of the kitchen utensil also... Whilst attempting to concoct my famous hummous for a potluck, the potato masher I was using to beat the chickpeas to death self-destructed in my hand. Wooden splinters abound and tiny slits made in my OTHER pinky finger. I am now pinkyless :( Again, not too much blood, and no medical attention was sought.

Maiming #3: chunk of broken beer bottle lodged in big toe... while on a 10 block walk... bliss. Glass was successfully removed. Wound was disinfected . No medical attention was sought.

The various spillages occurred whilst preparing for the evening... loading up the fridge, etc. at which point I managed to drop TWO 2 litre bottles of club soda, and thereby caused TWO explosions later in the evening... but it's all good 'cause club soda removes stains, right?

Finally, whilst preparing pink drinks for one of the wonderful women present, I very nearly impaled myself with an orange drink umbrella. Fortunately, it DID NOT draw blood.

At this point in time, the other women present (thank-you Tiffany!) decided it was a bad idea for me to be around the kitchen and began a subtle intervention. Thus I survived to spend the next two days recovering, cooped up in my parent's house and my room.

And now here I sit, at Joe's incredible computer writing this to you all, in various stages of repair and far, far away from all sharp objects.

Fleas

Excuse me sir, but I have no time for fleas today. Or any other day for that matter.

*flick*

life's simple pleasures...

Sometimes you've just got to love taking in the little things in life. You know what I mean- the simple stuff that puts a smile on your face.

Pay attention!

These things are easy to miss if you're running around with your head stuck somewhere it shouldn't be, too 'busy' to pay heed to the things that really matter...

Things like (for me, anyway) the simple joy of spending an evening talking to a good friend- no cell phones or computers, no complicated plans- just copious amounts of coffee (or beer), a kitchen table, and good conversation... the way it feels to put newly clean pajamas on your freshly showered body and crawl into a bed made with newly clean sheets... the smell of rain on a breeze blowing through your open window... listening to that song- one of your favorites from days gone by- that you haven't heard in YEARS playing on the radio... watching somebody learn (actually seeing the light brighten in their eyes as understanding dawns)... the sight of a bouquet of your favorite flowers on your kitchen table... a long, hot shower after a long day... watching people go about their days... waking up to the aroma of someone who loves you cooking breakfast for you... getting an email from a long lost friend.

My current favorite is quietly watching the sunrise from my little balcony whilst sipping on a hot cup of coffee, huddled in a warm sweater and slippers. Morning meditation, really. Glorious.

What's your favorite "little thing"?

Sunburnt!

Summer is on it's way! As proof of this miraculous occurrence, I offer the following evidence:

- trees are greening up nicely- they're that wonderful yellow-new-bud green. I love it!
- tulips are beginning to bloom throughout the downtown area;
- the hyacinths and crocii are almost done (sad, but a necessary evil of the progression of the seasons);
- the black flies have begun to make their appearance in New Maryland (ew!);

AND (last but most certainly NOT least)

- I got my first sunburn of the season yesterday!!!

The burn was achieved during the lunch hour, at which time I was to be found consuming my lunch on a bench under a tree just outside my office building. The weather was unexpectedly gorgeous, and it can therefore be understood why my arm wandered (of it's own free will, of course...) out of the protective shade of the tree and into a patch of noon-time sun- it was merely attempting to make up for five months of vitamin-D deprivation. The arm cannot be blamed.

My (ever-so-slightly-but-lovably-over-protective) father is less than thrilled- as a result of yesterday's rebelliousness on the part of my right arm, Dad has already begun his annual campaign to do away with all short-sleeve shirts and to have both of his daughters and his wife permanently doused in SPF 60 sunscreen with a wide-brimmed hat glued to our heads.

I love you Dad. :D

noodle arms!

The scene is this: two friends have just returned from the friendly neighbourhood vending machine, one carrying her spoils in the form of a plastic bottle of orange juice. They settle in an office to chat for a few minutes and enjoy some cookies and samosas with the help of the miraculously thirst-quenching juice.

Therese: Mmmmmmmm... good samosas. And now for my beverage...
*grabs bottle and begins to twist top off*

Therese: gah! grmph! gwa!
*continues to attempt to twist bottle top off... using her entire body and nearly falling off of her chair in the process*

Therese: Do you have this problem??

Jenn: *stifling a giggle* Not really... need some help?

Therese: NO! I can do this!
*the battle continues, the chair now turning slowly with the force of the effort*

Therese: *now with her back to Jenn* STUPID NOODLE ARMS!!! Gah!
*the bottle top FINALLY succumbs to the might of Therese's grip*

Therese: Ha!

Jenn: You know, I love that every time you open a bottle of juice, it involves you nearly falling off your chair.

Therese: It does doesn't it?? Hm. Stupid noodle arms.

Jenn: Indeed it does. Can I have some of your juice?

May the First

Happy May Day everyone! The REAL labour day!

Today has also been delcared a day of international solidarity with immigrants. Rumour has it that massive protests against racist immigration laws should be shutting down various US cities even as a I type these words (oooooo... a thrill of anticipation and hope runs up my spine at the very thought...) Let's hope so!

We even had a small march right here in town! Here are some pics from that protest.

I suspect it would have seen much better attendance had we not all had to work. Ah, the glorious and ever-present twist of irony...