Tuesday, April 11, 2006

an ode to magnetic verbiage

I'm back!

I can't say for how long, but negotiations have been going well with the office, and I am hopeful that the hostage situation will soon be fully resolved.

In light of my joyous return to the blogosphere, I have decided to share something that has never been seen or heard outside of my humble little apartment...

Magnetic Poems!!!!!!

That's right. I, like many others, am almost completely, and irreversibly addicted to magnetic poetry... but there's a twist to this addiction... UNlike many others, MY magnetic poetry does not reside on the refrigerator... oh no!

Given the location of the fridge in the kitchen, this would almost certainly turn into a massive logistical nightmare and a giant pain in the ass. Thus, my roommate and I had the BRILLIANT idea to stick the verbose magnets on our washing machine...

... which just happens to be positioned directly across from the toilet.

Genius I say! GENIUS!!!

So here, for your viewing pleasure, are the little ditties that currently reside in my bathroom. They have been composed by various parties, including, but not limited to, myself, my roommate, and her boyfriend... Enjoy!

to do: watch goddess and drool into milk

Summer boils away mists of winter

I use my tongue like a knife

luscious purple hair swims after the girl

Spring is a garden of chocolate eggs and a life of love

worship the black dress

he is crying beneath me

storms never recall the flood

take power through sordid produce

delicate beauty would rust near your bitterness

men bloody sweat and moan needlessly like the wind licking at your feet

shadowy visions were like sweet rain

I eat a peach as lustfully as smearing honey on bare skin on a wet spring day


6 Comments:

At 9:10 PM, Blogger sarah said...

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! I wrote one of those! I wrote it the night of the big shindig at your place. Which was awesomely fun, by the way. So I am famous. Does that count as a publication?

 
At 5:21 AM, Blogger shannon said...

'I eat a peach as lustfully as smearing honey on bare skin on a wet spring day'

Who was writing about my favourite pastime? And how did they know?

 
At 6:17 AM, Blogger Thérèse said...

'worship the black dress'

Guess who wrote that one.

Go on.

Heehehehehhehehe. I love that game! You do realize this is why it takes so long for anyone to pee in your house, right? ;)

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger Grumball said...

Well I didn't contribute... but I gotta say that there are some pretty poetic lines there! Most of the time this sort of thing degenerates into hilarious lewdness, and doesn't maintain the eloquence of these lines. "delicate beauty would rust near your bitterness" is excellent.

 
At 7:50 AM, Blogger jenn said...

Sarah- I think it does... ;) So which one is yours???

Shannon- I dunno- maybe it was you! You were at my apartment...

Therese- Hmmmmmmm... could it be the woman in the little black dress?!?!?
Indeed- I do know that is why it takes people so long to pee... although at first I kept getting worried that people were sick! hahahahahaha!

Grum- too true- at one point there were some very lewd lines... something about 'frantically waxing your sausage'... (why would ANYONE put the word sausage in a pack of magnetic poetry unless they were going for lewdness?!?!)

Oh, and I like that one too :)

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger Thérèse said...

Funny Fact: I didn't clue in to the fact that my profile picture is me in a little black dress (appropriately so) until I read your comment in response to mine.

*giggle*

 

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