Wednesday, March 08, 2006

trying not to be a chicken-shit (is chicken-shit supposed to be hyphenated?)

A recent conversation with a good friend has brought to light something that I think it is important to articulate. I offer this advice in the spirit that most of my advice is meant- hoping to help others to avoid the mistakes that I've made, or lived through. Ignore it if you like- that's the beauty of advice- you can opt not to take it.

Here it is:

NEVER neglect to make sure that the people you care about KNOW that you care about them. You may think that your feelings are understood, that your actions speak louder than words- and maybe they do- but a little vocal confirmation of your affections never hurts: Really, who doesn't like to hear someone say "I love you", or "I care about you", or "I miss you", or a simple "You look nice today"? (I'm pretty sure that, admit it or not, this goes for men as well as women.)

The human mind is a funny thing- for most, the bad is easier to believe than the good. Thus, if we don't have incontrovertible evidence that someone cares, most of us start to doubt. And doubt is NOT a fun place to be. Even though our friends may tell us we have nothing to worry about (and we understand that they are probably right), if you're not feeling it internally, doubt creeps in.

For some people, myself included, saying the words is an incredibly difficult thing to do. I think it's because actually vocalizing that kind of emotion, no matter how sure you are of your situation, leaves you open to some form of rejection. And we all know that rejection is amongst the scariest of everyday-scary-things...

None of those personal insecurities really matter though- not when you're talking about making sure that the people that matter in your life know that they matter. A little bit of vocal appreciation goes a looooooong way. Never forget it.

So suck it up, deal with it, and make someone's day, you big wuss.


At 7:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jennifer. We've known each other for A LONG time now. We had a GREAT time growing up in Colby, with all that were around us. I just wanted to be the first to say, I am glad you posted that. It is so true. I infact have been alluding to that in my posts on my MSN SPACES page quite a bit lately. You just never know. And reading about what the baseball players thought of the late Kirby Puckette, I really hope they told him in LIFE as they do in DEATH what they think of him. It always seems peoples REALLY positive emotions come out to someone TOO LONG after they have left us for good. So DO take a moment and let the ones you love and have in your life that you DO CARE. So, yes, Jenn, Megean, John and Marilyn, I am glad I had met you all those years ago! Take care each and everyone of you.

~Your Friend, Julie~

At 7:34 AM, Blogger jenn said...

Thanks, Jules. I'm glad we met too. Those were great times ;)

At 8:25 AM, Anonymous papabear said...

Hey Kiddo, great topic. Your point reflects WIWI 10/22: In the absence of information it is human nature to assume the worst.

I love you!

At 8:49 AM, Blogger jenn said...

I love you too, papabear ;)

At 9:44 AM, Blogger shannon said...

People have feelings?

At 10:38 AM, Blogger Tobin Haley said...

*sniff* awww made my eyes all watery!:)


At 11:11 AM, Blogger Jay said...

Homework?!? What the hell?

At 12:55 PM, Blogger Thérèse said...

Jenn, I love you. I appreciate you and think you're a great girl with so many great qualities that I can't even begin to enumerate them. I'm glad we got to be friends this year, and I couldn't ask for a better lunch buddy.

Jay, your comment made me laugh aloud.

At 4:04 AM, Blogger jenn said...

shannon- it has been known to occur on occassion... who knew?

tobin- Yay! my mission for this post is complete! I only hope you weren't wearing mascara...

Miss Jay- Like I said, you can alwayss choose not to take the advice ;)

T- Thank-you. I feel the same about you! And, I would like to add that I have an enormous amount of respect for you. We're on the same page, I think, and that's really nice to know :D


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